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Happy 2024 Everyone!
I am late to the party, but trust me when I say that is a direct reflection of what today's blog is about.
We are finally in 2024, I know I am supposed to be excited about the new year. The older I get, the less excited I feel about this notion. Am I supposed to believe that the tick of a clock and the change of a calendar date and some well wishes will somehow bring some magic into my life?
New Year's hype feels like a giant marketing campaign to drive us more into consumerism. Changing your life is a lifelong commitment; you need to develop your character to sustain all the good things you earn or chase after—something that none of the campaigns promote.
In life, you don't just roll over, buy a new journal, and expect things to happen. Nothing changes in your life unless you do, but real change takes time, and this is the truth that is hard to sell.
We are a microwave generation; we tend to want everything the world has to offer, and we want it now. So year in and year out, we live out to the exterior; we want to have a new house, new car, new friends, a new lover, new everything, and never have we built a character to sustain these things...we recycle them and trade them for something new, something that won't require any depth.
We say we want fulfilling lives, meaningful relationships, and lifelong sustainability, but these are things that money cannot buy. They need time, and 365 days won't cut it.
The fast life can be very taxing; it is anxiety-driven and looks at short-term gratification.
Over the past few years, I have not set any New Year's resolutions, but I have only lived my life with intention. Making every effort to be better and committing to the decisions I make day to day. I set my own life goals at any time of the day or month or year and commit to bringing them to fruition.
There were many times where I have failed over and over... but eventually succeeded because my goals were not confined to just a single year. I measured my success by measuring my progress in the area of growth. Am I better at this than I was last year? Maybe not, but am I more aware of areas of development that impede me from being a better person? Yes. Do I feel overwhelmed? No, because I know change is coming even if it takes time, as long as I keep working on it.
This is my New Year's motto: "I want all the good things life has to offer, but not at the expense of me."
Setting goals and following them is also very crucial to your success. Even a timeline of when you want those goals to be achieved is very important.
Instead of making New Year's resolutions, make life resolutions. Decide how you want to live the rest of your life, how you show up for yourself and those around you, and then make it your ambition to live like this every day.
Here are some of the many life resolutions I live by and continue to pursue year after year.
Discover Your True Self:
Make resolutions to own your identity, take time to find out who you are. Apart from all the roles you play, being a wife, lawyer, student, daughter, parent, or CEO, who you are is the person you are when all these titles are stripped away from you.
It is so unfortunate that we place so much of our identity on things we truly have no control over. No wonder the 'world' is so depressed, and has no sense of self. Living your entire life knowing others but never truly knowing or seeing yourself for who you are is the highest form of betrayal. Finding out who you are and who you want to be outside of these things, working on your core beliefs about yourself is an investment that will always be worth it.
Show Up Authentically:
One of the most searched words of 2023 was "authenticity." It makes sense. We as people create problems and then get confused at the consequences those actions produce. Everything around us is void of authenticity because we judge what we don’t understand; we only accept what is familiar.
We created this culture of people who are afraid to show up as their true selves because they won’t be accepted. We then form friendships with them and wonder why we are surrounded by people and yet still feel alone?
If you can't be authentic, you are untrustworthy, and if you judge people for who they are, you won't form real connections. Authenticity is a result of knowing yourself; it comes from self-love and self-acceptance. When you can love and accept yourself, you will be able to show up for others in an authentic way. If people don’t like you for you, those are not your people, find your tribe.
Brené Brown says that true belonging never asks us to change who we are; it demands that we BE who we are.
Heal Your Inner Child:
No matter how awesome we think our childhood was, we all have an inner child to be healed. No matter how old we are, there is a young vulnerable part of ourselves that craves love and acceptance. Find that place of hurt and make it your life's mission to heal that inner child. Be compassionate with yourself and be patient while nursing your wounds.
Make Friends With Your Demons:
How can you make friends with your demons? We all want to get rid of them. This is your past, something you cannot change. You have shame and regret. Look and see that there are parts of your life that you won’t be able to undo and remember not to allow that to consume and take over your life. Learn to sit with your demons (pain, sorrow, past, shame, brokenness), familiarize yourself with them enough that you gain compassion. Then befriend them. This is the place you go to find lessons; this is the place you go when you want to remember why you can't make the same mistake again. This is the place where you find your inner hero.
Learn Generosity:
Someone once told me, “Marry a generous man, not a rich man.” I was a kid, I wasn't sure what they were talking about, but as I grew older, I learned that we often mistakenly associate generosity with money. Generosity goes far beyond money. A generous person is someone with an open heart; they are generous with their love, forgiveness, grace, and time, and they are generous with who they are. Be generous.
Happy New Year
xo
xo