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As many of you know by now, my kids' dad remarried this past weekend, and I know some of you are wondering how I am doing.
I am doing great
If you've never been divorced before, maybe you won't understand this, but nothing just happens. When you reach that stage of filing the paperwork, you have already gone through all the motions that you can in order to reach the conclusion that this is not working.
Of course, during the divorce itself, you may still experience a lot of pain and hurt, but sometimes you are almost at the end of it all.
I think I mentioned before that the best thing you can do in life to live without regrets is to give it your all, to be obedient to God, and give your relationship everything you've got because when things don't work out, you know that you have given it your absolute all and that you were obedient, so there was nothing else to give...
No regrets, no shame, just clarity and freedom to live your life to the fullest.
The next stage is accepting that this is now your life, that even though this is not how you would have preferred to do it, you realize that all these broken pieces of your life can create something more beautiful than you ever thought. Just like a mosaic, so imperfect, yet so beautiful.
This weekend, my kids gained a great bonus mom. I've met her, and she is a nice person, and I believe she loves and cares for them a lot. I've seen her in action, and as a mom, that's all I can hope for in this situation.
I know that's not enough - let's be honest, I'm not always a good judge of character, but I can judge someone based on how my kids feel about being with them. So far, my kids love her, and they are always happy to be with her on the weekends that they have the kids. I trust my kids, and I believe them. When they talk about our family, she's always a part of it... So I know they love and accept her. I'm grateful for that.
I know it's a lot of change for the kids. I know there are more changes coming up, but I think I'm keeping their emotional stresses in check and being more compassionate and understanding as they process these changes... and thankfully, the people involved are also caring and aware that this can be hard for the kids.
We are trying to figure out the co-parenting thing together and have been for the past few months. It's complex, and there are a lot of moving pieces here, but we prioritize what's best for the kids.
I am happy for my kids, I am happy for Aaron and Lindsey, and I hope for nothing but the best for them in their new journey because their success affects my kids, so I know that's a little selfish.
As for me , I am still very much in love with my boyfriend, not near ready for marriage, although this is something I want eventually, but I am happy and content with where I am at and the pace that our relationship is going so far .
So much work mentally, physically and emotionally I have been putting in to better myself and I have never been more at peace and had more clarity than I do now.
Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.